Growing from Adversity

Resilience means using inner strength to work through and grow from challenges and life events. This allows a person to “bounce back” from a minor rejection to a major life setback.

No one is born resilient—it's a learned skill. With practice, anyone can become resilient. More than anything, resilience comes from mindset. By controlling how you think about a situation, you can control how you respond to it.

During a crisis, it’s common to feel powerless and overwhelmed. It can feel like everything is out of control, and there’s nothing you can do. So, it’s beneficial to recognize that there are things within your control. Resilience comes from managing the things within your control at the same time accepting the things you cannot control.

Acceptance doesn't necessarily come easily, but you can work toward it. For instance, practicing mindfulness can help you accept things as they are, without trying to change them or push them away. Focusing on what you can control is a skill, the more you practice, the better you will get.

Resilience comes when viewing hardships as opportunities for growth. This mindset is developed by looking for the upside of difficult situations. This doesn’t mean you see the situation as entirely positive. Instead, you recognize there are at least some positive things you can take from the situation.

When facing a crisis, it’s natural to try to avoid the uncomfortable feelings that come with it. When losing a job, it might feel bad to reflect on your mistakes, or to share the bad news with loved ones. Skipping these steps ensures of not having to face discomfort... for now.

However, avoidance leaves the root problems unresolved, allowing them to grow or recur.

Confronting difficult experiences is the key to developing resilience. Being present to your difficult experience—rather than pushing it away—gives you the chance to work through problems. The more you practice confronting challenges, the more confidence you gain in facing similar challenges in the future.

Values are the things that are most important to you in life. Understanding your values can help build resilience. When you’re just going through the motions and doing things without passion, it’s easy to throw in the towel as soon as things get difficult. In contrast, when you know what you’re fighting for, you’re better equipped to push through even the most challenging situations.

To discover your values, consider times you felt happy, focused, or energized. What did these situations have in common? What values does this reveal? Use your values to motivate you through future challenges.

Resilience is about working through challenges and coming out even stronger. You can develop resilience by focusing on what you can control, adopting a growth mindset, facing your fears, and defining your values.